Episode #6 Diary Rooms

[christine]

I'm so sorry for my lack of updates last round. It was a big round and lots went down. I may not have seemed like a crucial part in the last few weeks, but I was always at the centre of the decisions. I even made all of the alliances that were eventually exposed. I ended up typing this great confessional and went to post it and my computer froze. I got incredibly frustrated and gave up. So I'll try and catch you up now before the HOH...

First I just have to say I'm devastated to have lost my best friend in this game. Drew and I were basically running this show last round. It's sad that Ika and Shilpa's actions ended up being the nail in his coffin. He definitely did not deserve pre-jury. I felt bad having won the POV over him and even considered using it on him for a moment. I figured I might even have a better shot at staying than he did, but it was too risky to chance it. He was the one person in this game I was able to tell everything to. I'm going to miss him! <3

But do I blame Shilpa for what she did? Absolutely not. She's a smart girl. I have an inkling that her and Rachelle really were allies from the start. I knew she was close to Rachelle, but I thought she'd play the game differently than she did. I really did tell Shilpa everything. Everything except the chat that was formed between Ivette, Ika, Drew and I. Ika assumed it was an alliance, but we never mentioned that word. I don't think I'll ever trust Shilpa in the game, but I'm going to make her think I do. I think she's going to play the middle, and I'm going to make her think she has me in her back pocket.

Before Drew left he warned me about how much Ika despises me in the game. I'm not really sure what I did to offend her so much. Maybe she was jealous that Drew and I were so close. I'm not sure. I think she's a lot smarter than she lets on though. I think it's all one big act. It's dramatic and beautiful... but I sure hate having her on my bad side.

Anyways, you'd think after this last round I'd be incredibly worried about what's in store for me next. But there has already been some developments.

Christopher has already approached me for an alliance with Ash. Nothing official yet, but I think it's going to be a thing that happens.

Shilpa, true to her form of playing the middle, has also approached me again... she wants to work together. She feels like it's smart to. She told me she wants to win this HOH, because she's hoping to "change a few things herself". She said I'd be safe, but I'm not sure whether or not I believe her. Still, it's a trickle of hope where there was none before.

Ivette and I are still on the same page. I don't think she blames me at all for trying to save Drew and she knows that she was used as a pawn by the other side to get Drew out. I don't think she'll hold it against me.

Dan... well... is he even playing the game? If I see him win this HOH I might just shit a brick. Seriously!

That leads me to Craig and Ika... the only two people who scare me in this upcoming HOH. Craig already told me straight up that I'm going up on the block if he wins HOH. Ika hasn't said anything to me really. Not since Drew and I were caught. I might need to work on repairing that relationship. I might need her on my side in the coming weeks.

That's it for now. Hoping for a better round. And I hope to make my DR's a little more entertaining and informative... especially now that the games really on.

[christine]

So right now I'm working on repairing my relationship with Shilpa. She says she wants to work together. Do I trust her? Not entirely. I think she's playing both sides really well. However, I know one of my allies is definitely leaving this week so I'm hoping to get Shilpa in my good books again moving forward. She may be pivotal in keeping me off the block, or keeping me safe from the vote should Rachelle/Ika/Craig be in power next week.

I did however screw up big in revealing that Ash/Christopher are a lot closer than they let on. Me and my big mouth! Hah! I was hoping to have Christopher and Ash both survive this round, so that we would at least have a fighting chance in the next HOH against Rachelle/Craig. However, I think Shilpa plans on nominating both of them for eviction so that one or the other will leave.

I voiced a lot of my concerns in working with Shilpa and was very open about everything because I honestly have no where else to turn and nothing to lose. Here's to hoping this was the right decision moving forward.

[christine]

Probably the only love I'll be getting from Ika all season:

SPOILER: Click to show

[christine]

So things are getting a little bit tricky with this vote now. I absolutely, 100% want Chris to stay in the game. I will be voting for him to stay. I even told Shilpa I would. I'm almost positive Chris is leaving, but Chris is convinced he can somehow get the votes to stay. He thinks he can manage to sway Rachelle and Craig (or Ika) and he seems to want my help to do so.

Chris has asked me to offer a deal to Rachelle. She is apparently nervous that she would be nominated if I won HOH. Of course she would be! Why wouldn't I nominate her? Anyways, Chris wants me to offer her safety should I win HOH next week. I told him that I couldn't do that but that I would talk to her.

Anyways, my conversation with Rachelle... I subtly gave her an ultimatum. I told her I want to go after the people playing the middle, but that it would depend on whether or not Chris stayed this week if I did that with my HOH should I win next week. She completely called me on it, though... in a joking way as Rachelle does. I really have such a hard time talking to her. I always try and let my guard down with her and then she gets aggressive and I have to go back on the defence. Maybe it's because we'll probably never fully trust one another in the game, but it's hard to say for sure.

If Chris wants to stay this week then he definitely has some work to do. I still don't think it's possible. I truly think Rachelle is playing us all to get some more information out of us. I mean, it's pretty obvious at this point that I'm with Chris and Ash. Maybe she really isn't with Shilpa as much as I had assumed. Either way, I did what I could to save Chris. The rest is up to him and Ash.